Life boils down to two choices

GET A DOG





OR HAVE KIDS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16, 2008 08:15 AM, EDT
Ally is feeling better...

Ally had a good day on Tuesday. She was back to eating more and she was in a great mood for the day! She got to take a nice walk with her Grammy and Grampa and they saw 3 dogs together, to which she immediately started to say woof woof! Ally is also getting better at waving goodbye, BEFORE the person leaves the room! Ally has also perfected her licking technique. EVERYTHING is being licked now...it's pretty gross to have a jam covered baby lick your face (but it's pretty cute too!).

Wonder why this guy thought this was such a good idea. . . ?

MONDAY, APRIL 14, 2008 06:38 PM, EDT And here's the latest!

We got word about Ally's blood. Her counts are holding stable for the time. The docs think they will drop. She does not have to go to the hospital for blood tomorrow. The nurse will be back on Thursday to take more blood, which could mean a trip to DHMC on Friday. Living day to day right now.

I asked about the bone marrow results, because we had not heard, the nurse at DHMC could not find the results written, but she asked the doc who was near her and he said they came back negative, which is good!

MONDAY, APRIL 14, 2008 03:28 PM, CDT
Ally's Mom writes:

Hello Again,

It is kind of one step forward, 2 steps back again. Yesterday it seemed Ally was finally pulling out of the side effects of round 3 chemo, and today started off well. As the day has moved on she is refusing to eat again, and is in a cranky mood.

We are still waiting to hear about her blood test from this morning. Hopefully we will not have to go to the hospital tomorrow (for a transfusion).

Bittergate

chi ku --> eat bitterness

苦力 ku li --> bitter strength

Naw -- we've never felt bitter about foreigners doing our work. . . .

The moon crushes us with romance
The sun ignites us in the dance

Instead, bend low, and find the tiny rose's thorn
before the green and growing takes it all forlorn

Enchantment carved on wrists with Mother's knives
looks inward at the detail of our lives

The moss in bloom, its minuscule pyres
the green and gilded flame, the sparkling fires



jjl
13 April 2008

see more crazy cat pics

amusing ourselves to death

Ever so slightly amused here. Since earthlink's spamblocker started randomly grabbing mail that I do want, and which addys are, in fact, in my address book, instead of letting known spam take place out of my sight, I check the spam folder as often as I check real mail. Today, opening email, I got 10 pieces of email, and 8 pieces of spam.

While checking the spam to make sure nothing from friends or family was there, I suddenly got a vision of my life as the spammers imagine I wish it to be: Sitting there watching college girls run wild in Cancun, wearing my knockoff Pradas, playing with my extra large penis, admiring my fake Rolex, checking in every now and again to see how my fake software is doing, and taking my very cheap Canadian meds, including cXalXs (for which I won't need a physician), so my 3 extra inches will be a dragon in my drawers and JLo and 19 black men entertain me on my ultra cheep DVD while I find my own true love via the Tibetan monks' patented secret number system. . . .

Life would be just soooooooooooo good.

And now I'm going to go and light a candle for the spammers. They really need one. A three inch one. . . .

Oh, nevermind. . . .

STAGE II

You begin to imagine the actual lives of the peeps who actually click on the links, and make it worthwhile for the spammers to continue to send this stuff out. That you shop with these people, drive on the same highways with these people. Eat in the same restaurants with these people. Vote with these people. . . . Wait! Mystery solved. . . .

Now, I have to find my pr0zXc. . . .

Ally News on Friday Evening, 11 April 2008

Home again for a while.
Ally's next round of chemo should be around April 25th,
as long as her blood counts come up by then.

Just before the storm

THURSDAY, APRIL 10, 2008 02:25 PM, EDT
One more day past Chemo 3

Hello Friends,

Ally had some blood drawn today. Her counts were pretty good. They are expecting them to drop more before they start to come back up. We have to give her injections each night to help her release white blood cells into her body.

She is still not a big eater, but is doing better today than yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow will be even better. (Today her snack of choice was salt and vinny chips.)

Somehow I managed to get a sore throat, so I have to wear a mask when I am around Ally. Ally likes to pull my mask off. I am hoping it is just a 24 hour thing, and that Ally does not get it, because that would send us back to the hospital.

She is still snuggling!

On the road from Jericho to Jerusalem -- The Valley of the Shadow of Death

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 09, 2008 12:45 PM, EDT
Tired and Frustrated, Ally's Mommy writes:


Hello,

Yesterday was kind of a rough day, too. Ally is reacting to the chemo by not really eating and throwing up what she did get into her tummy. The whole situation was kind of catching up to me as well.

Today is going much better. Ally is in a better mood, sort of eating a little better, but we still have a problem with her keeping it down. I am in a better place too, so that seems to help. Ally's place is in my arms, or on my lap. She really does not want to be let go of, I can understand that, and while I love to cuddle with her, sometimes I just need to put her down.

We are going to keep trying to get some food into her...she is refusing all her favorites, but eating some strange stuff (yesterday she drank some sweet and sour sauce). Hopefully we can make it through the rest of the day and tonight puke free!

Hummingbirds

The woman is Abagail Alfano of Pine, Louisiana - she did not do it for a lark but had studied them daily and one morning put the cup in her hand with sugar water in it. They had gotten used to her standing by the feeder and came over to her hand. She says in touching they are as light as a feather. Said if had known her husband would take pictures she would have put on makeup. . . .

hattip to CG

Ally update

MONDAY, APRIL 07, 2008 06:59 PM, EDT

Today did not run smoothly, but we are home.

SUNDAY, APRIL 06, 2008 04:01 PM, EDT
From Ally's Mom...

Mostly done with round 3. Tomorrow she only gets one of the chemo drugs, and it is the one that only takes an hour. They are going to try and start it at 6 AM, because she has a 4 hour post hydration flush to get through as well, and they want to get us out of here!

This round is not being nice to her tummy. She is not really eating well right now, but what she does eat comes back up. Other than that she is in good spirits. Her blood pressure continues to be okay and she is sleeping well at night.

Hopefully tomorrow will be quick and painless.

om mani padme hung

SATURDAY, APRIL 05, 2008 10:29 AM, EDT
News from AllyLand:


Good Morning,

Ally's 2nd day of round 3 Chemo should be starting soon. The nurses are working hard to make sure we can leave on Monday and not Tuesday.

They have changed her meds again. They are going to give her some super med to get rid of her thrush before we go, so we don't have to worry about it at home.

Except for the time she was screaming when they took her blood pressure her blood pressure seems to be stable with the lower meds, we are hoping that continues for the rest of our visit.

We got test results back: The MIBG showed only glowing parts at the tumor, good news. The CT scan showed the tumor has shrunk about as much as they expected it would: also good news. We will not know about bone marrow until next week.

We have a good view of the mountains from our room and the parking lot. Ally LOVES to watch the cars and people move in the parking lot. We can also see where the helicopters land...she loves that. Best view yet.

New Moon: Saturday April 5 at 11:55 p.m.

Go Down, Moses. Set My People Free.

January 15, 2005. . . .

So, today is Martin's birthday. And I'm glad this country acknowledges it.

But his birthday always brings to mind so clearly to me the first week that he wasn't. It was beautiful weather in D.C. that week. There was a Forsythia in bloom at my back door, and I spent the whole week digging it out, to replace it with a Mock Orange. I had a radio on the porch listening to the news of the riots as I sweated, disentangling the Forsythia's roots from around the construction junk the builders had buried next to the house.

My neighbor across the street with her doors locked was calling frequently, convinced that the rioters were headed our way. (Right, all the women in the neighborhood had to drive to the bus stop to pick up their maids ~~ was she expecting them to take taxis out from DeeCee just to get our little chicken sh!t ghetto?)

As I sweated, dug and pulled, and the sky was blue and beautiful, and 7th street burned and burned, I recall feeling so hopeful. At last they were angry, and standing up!

When I first came East, I worked in the personnel records dept of Hot Shoppes/Marriott. We had thousands of employees in D.C. mostly cooks, busboys, dishwashers. They bought furniture on credit from the stores on 7th Street. Whole house suites. The terms were very easy, the furniture crappy. But the monthly payments were possible even on a busboy's salary. The interest, outrageous, but at least you had a couch to sit on, a table to eat on, and a bed to sleep on -- for a year or two, until it fell apart. Then generally, they stopped paying. And went down the street to buy another set from another store. The owners didn't much care, D.C. had a really good garnishee law. The buyers were sometimes paying for two or three deceased suites as well as the currently usable one. Every time I'd filed another garnisheeing notice, I'd felt outraged. They were paying double or triple what the junk was worth in the first place. And yet I could see no way out for them, then. No one else would give them credit. They were doing what they could. But if I were angry, just standing helplessly by, how much more angry must they be?

And now, 7th Street was being burned! One could see the smoke from the burning city even from Maryland.

I pulled several bushels of construction junk from that hole, and dragged it to the curb. I planted the Mock Orange with much new dirt, and manure, and hope. And it flourished. And I always think of that week as the beginning, though I know it began earlier, with a man who would not have approved of the riots, but who had given the heart and the hope into the making of them and heart and hope did not end when he did. . . .

Thank you Martin.

THURSDAY, APRIL 03, 2008 07:19 PM, EDT
On the evening before Chemo 3:

Hello Again,

Tomorrow we head back to the hospital for Ally's 3rd round of Chemo. This round of chemo is the one that usually causes the most severe short term side effects. We are hoping they can give her lots of anti-nausea meds. The drugs are also going to damage her hearing. We are not sure how much, but she will get these same drugs in round 5, damaging it even more. They told us most kids will come out of it needing hearing aids. I am not sure when they will give her a hearing test.

Today was a pretty good day for Ally. She was in some pain this morning, and did a lot of sleeping in mommy's arms (NOT complaining here!). Baby pain meds seem to help. This afternoon she had a super fun time playing with Auntie and going for a walk. She took a late nap and as of right now (7:30ish) she does not seem sleepy for her 8:00 bed time.

Have a great night.

Barack "who's sane" Obama

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 02, 2008 06:01 PM, EDT
Home from the hospital...


Well, we are back~

The day went ok. She was VERY mad she could not eat. All morning she kept pointing to the fridge and grunting for food. I felt really sad when I heard her little tummy grumble!

She slept on the way up! Bonus.

When we got there everyone was so happy to see her, and they all commented on how well she looks. She is up to 16 lbs 11 1/2 ounces!

She was content to sit in the main hall for the 30 minutes we had to wait between the clinic and pain free. She waved at random strangers and put out her hand for EVERY person who walked by with food or drink!

So, after hanging out in the hallway for about 30 minutes we decided to see if any of our favorite nurses were working in the PICU. They were not:( Hopefully some will be there on Friday.

We went up to Pain Free and filled out some forms. Then, rather quickly they got her ready to go under. She went pretty quickly, then they gave me a pager and said it would be about an hour and a half. And guess what, it actually was!!!!!

After she woke up they were waiting for her to pee and waiting and waiting and waiting. After a failure to straight catheter her they gave up and we are going to try again on Friday. So, even though she was back in my sights by 2:30, we did not get to leave the hospital until 4:30.

When she did wake up she was MAD! She scarfed down a whole yogurt and some crackers and drank some juice! She was hungry!

So, it was a successful day and a LONG day. We should know test results on Friday (possibly tomorrow).

Since Ally has been home she has been eating, "talking" and causing trouble! I hope she sleeps well tonight.

Simple Enough


A trip for a daughter
a promise kept
travel to hot stones, among hot hearts

Each day the sky a little different.
Sometimes even clouds above the city
Sometimes just sun and more sun and always, far away

Daily, I read the Jerusalem Post
scanning for stray bombs and missiles
your face

The plans of the Universe are
never as simple as mine:
I think because I found you . . . .

The child still pleading: But
he followed me home from the Big Tree
Can't I keep him? Please. Please. . .

You wander, street stone warm to touch
among strangers, no one, no
cares as I do. Would they catch you? Keep you?

I send postcards in the dark
Come home, please come home
I need you




jjl
2 April 2008

Fools for Love

I wanted the rain for you,
and storm. A jonquil sun,
pain that can be borne

Born that fast,
eyelids like dragonflies
heart on a runaway train

Music dreaming our dream
again and again
the dance, the dance, the dance


jjl

Obama overtakes Clinton in PA

Obama overtakes Clinton in PA

Raleigh, N.C. – Barack Obama has taken the lead over Hillary Clinton 45-43 in Pennsylvania, according to the newest survey from Public Policy Polling.

It’s a remarkable turn around from PPP’s last Pennsylvania poll, conducted two and a half weeks ago, that showed Clinton with a 26 point lead in the state. That poll was released at the height of the Jeremiah Wright controversy and the day before Obama’s major speech on race in Philadelphia. Obama has been trending upward in national polling and in many state level polls since then and this survey reflects that pattern.

continue reading at... (Warning: .pdf )

Hattip to Karen at HEP

TUESDAY, APRIL 01, 2008 08:23 PM, EDT
Ally's Mom relates:

Here is our schedule for tomorrow:
(wish us luck...hospital time is never on time!)

6:15ish: Ally wakes up and eats (only graham crackers or toast)

7:00: NO more solid foods, may drink clear liquids

10:00 NO more of anything! (plus I need to keep her awake until about this time!)

10:15: leave for DHMC

11:30: appointment at the clinic to get her vitals and some blood drawn, as well as signing consent form for the rest of the day

12:15: appointment at ChAD Pain Free to put Ally under. We need to be there at 12:15 for them to take her vitals and me sign consent forms (wait...didn't we just do that?)

1:00 Ally goes under and does test 1: MIBG scan

2:00 Ally is still under and does test 2: bone marrow biopsy

3:00 Ally is STILL under and goes to her final test: CT Scan.

4:00 HOPEFULLY Ally is back in my arms and I am allowed to continue to fatten her up! Then the long ride home with a baby who has been asleep for 3-4 hours.

Oh the joy!

(Sorry about the complaining, sometimes I need to feel sorry for myself!)

 Whan that Aprille, with hise shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open eye —
So priketh hem Nature in hir corages —
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially, from every shires ende
Of Engelond, to Caunturbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for the seke
That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seeke.

~~Chaucer

Pavane

The birds turn and sweep
cortholt and drum swell
the figure tightens and turns

Dancers leave, return
smile and nod

At dusk, the games begin
offered a red sleeve she wanders
toward the shingle

And the music in the woods
rattles on, and laughter
bright as silver, as crystal

A heart given, a heart received
twice over in the slow sweet
dance of soon




jjl
31 March 2008

Jerusalem 1 Aprille 2008 7:30 a.m.

MONDAY, MARCH 31, 2008 1:50 PM, EDT
Good update from Ally's Mom:

Hello All,

We had a super good weekend! Good visits from family and a few friends and we even got to take Ally out for a short walk!

She continues to have lots of energy and is eating better and better each day. She is branching out with what she will eat as well. Yesterday she LOVED mommy's chicken fingers! She also likes toast with LOADS of butter and jelly! Mostly she is sticking with the high fat and calorie yogurt.

We truly appreciate how loving, thoughtful and generous everyone has been, but we need to put it out there: Ally does NOT need any more stuffed toys. She has literally received at least a dozen stuffed toys in the past 2 months. Thanks to all who are thinking of her and want to make her happy, she really is becoming her old self again.

Tomorrow we go to Dartmouth for an MIBG injection (this is the one that will make her radioactive for 24 hours!).